You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but I think there’d be less atheists if the Bible made an effort.
Right, well, sit down. This won’t take long. It’s just a quick root canal, or a filling, or a… something. Lie back, breathe deeply, relax (but don’t fall asleep), and endure the procedure. Gosh, your teeth are terrible.
Oh, by the way, have you played LEGO City Undercover?
When I was a child, I possessed a strange fear that the statue of Anne Frank found outside her Amsterdam home would break from its foundations, race across the North Sea, and burst through my bedroom wall. I also possessed a PlayStation 1 and a sparse collection of games. One of them was Toy Story 2, a platformer tie-in of, uh, Toy Story 2, developed by Traveller’s Tales, whose logo was a weird fox creature lying on a rock and carrying a bindle. Another was LEGO Island 2, an open world adventure set on a number of, uh, LEGO islands. My childhood seems to have materialised in disc-based form with the release of LEGO City Undercover, an open world LEGO platformer, which Traveller’s Tales are behind. Well, their younger sibling TT Fusion, at any rate. Bless ‘em.
I’ve developed a habit of reading the backs of Blu-Rays and DVDs in a Yorkshire accent.
Contains bloody violence. Bloody, bloody violence.
”[Assassin’s Creed IV] Black Flag director Ashraf Ismail stressed that his global team was focusing on placing Edward into a more historically accurate take on this era – no parrots, no Krakens, no theme park shine … It wants to be grittier, more true to the dark, rough reality of the era.”
- The Dawn of Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, IGN.com
Historically accurate, ah yes, yes. The Assassin’s Creed franchise has always been incredibly sensitive to the past, extremely delicate in its rendering of the complexities and nuances of former times.
Like that bit in Assassin’s Creed II where you duel the Pope.
It can only be a coincidence that LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes found its way into shops a few weeks before the cinematic release of the Caped Crusader’s latest brooding, psychologically-intense adventure, The Dark Knight Rises. After all, it’s not like Traveller’s Tales, LEGO Batman 2’s developer, to lazily capitalise on movie franchises. Okay, so maybe it is. A month prior to Peter Jackson pumping out the first hairy segment of his Lord of the Rings prequel trilogy, LEGO The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game appeared. But you needn’t worry, for even as blatant, stinking film tie-ins, LEGO Batman 2 and LEGO The Lord of the Rings are both great – particularly the bat-based former.
As LEGO minifig recreations of Batman and his chums and nemeses, you gad about a sprawling, moody, rain-soaked Gotham City, complete with buildings and numerous roads, where you can freely toddle, clamber, swing, punch, and (as Superman, Superman for Zod’s sake, amongst other characters, like Wonder Woman and, everybody’s favourite killer moth, Killer Moth) fly. You can even ride a gorilla. Well, a LEGO gorilla. But a gorilla. I remember fondly having Bane straddle one of the hapless primates, and watching with demented joy as the pair lumbered through the busy streets, flattening terrified pedestrians. You’ll want LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes just to do that, I assure you.
I reckon French monarch Louis XIV would have got on well with animated monarch Kuzco from The Emperor’s New Groove.
Dispute that all you want. It’s my opinion.
Look, I’m sorry if you disagree.
I’ve bought my little brother a DVD called Scooby Doo Meets Batman for his birthday.
It’s Frost/Nixon for children, I think.